Sadly, I’ve never seen a corporate speech that was particularly interesting. I suspect that’s because the motivational speakers my jobs and schools have always hired were pretty boring. That definitely wouldn’t have been the case if they had hired Andy Cohen.

As a magician and best-selling author, his video clip looked very entertaining. I’ve always been especially interested in magic, and when the talks integrate business concepts, that’s even better. If you find yourself in a position where you have to arrange for a speaker, definitely look him up. There’s a reason he’s done talks for companies like American Express and Fox.

Sometimes, the placement of quotes can tell a story of their own. Take this example, as it appeared on Yahoo! News.

“Dave Barry gives witty ‘History’ lesson” - Oh, haha, “history”. It’s that zany Dave Barry, so it’s probably not a completely accurate historical account.

A more appropriate way to write it would have been:

“Dave Barry gives ‘witty’ History lesson”

Thoughts? Anyone else as sick of Dave Barry as I am? I definitely won’t be reading his new book

It looks like James Frey will be writing another book. Honestly, though, I have to wonder if it’s the first new book he’s had published since the controversy with A Million Little Pieces. My guess is that he has actually written one or two since then, under pen names, with little success. Of course, by using his own name, he’ll get tons of publicity and probably sell a bazillion copies.

I won’t be buying one. I was never particularly interested in the first one, but reading about drug use has always bored me, so maybe that’s why. Anyway, what do you think? Will you be reading his new book?

I’m not sure why, but I’ve always loved getting packages, even if I was the one who ordered and paid for them. At home, at work, at school, I really don’t care. It’s not about impressing anyone or making some boy jealous, either. It’s just fun, unwrapping something new…especially something delicious and new. I will admit, I’ve been known to send myself chocolates and fruit baskets in the past. That’s not to say that I don’t send them to other deserving loved ones, too, but why leave myself out? I rather like myself.

Anyway, the fruit basket I’m coveting now is this Bountiful Harvest gift basket from The Fruit Company. It’s right around $100, but I just can’t help myself. The leaves start to change colors and suddenly, I’m craving fruit. Of course, the garlic cheddar cheese and chocolate mint truffles sound pretty good, too. Oh, and pear cider…and chocolate covered pears (an aphrodisiac, I hear). In fact, the only thing that I could even think to add would be apple butter. That would totally complete the package.

So, remember people, my birthday is coming up in three short weeks. I expect to see this basket on my desk or else. :) Actually, now that I’ve browsed around a little bit more, the Cheesecake Sampler is starting to look pretty good, too.

I’ve always had a soft spot for Kerouac’s works. No, they’re not necessarily the greatest pieces of fiction ever written, but they inspire me and they’ve inspired countless others, and that’s good enough for me. I had to stifle a giggle when I read this article, though. This passage made me cringe:

“They’re usually wearing backpacks and they kind of have a sense of adventure about them,” she says. “They walk inside, looking kind of nervous, then go up to me and ask if I have anything by Jack Kerouac.”

I’ve definitely seen those people before. I know that, for many, it’s more embarassing to buy a Kerouac book than a sex manual. They walk in wondering, “I don’t get it. Can they tell?” or “I want to be great someday, and I think this book will move me towards those goals. Do they think I’m stupid and naive?” Kerouac buyers seem to be, on the average, kind of an insecure lot. Of course, then there are those who walk in excited and confident, certain that getting drunk and reading Kerouac will somehow make them great.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I have to think that any book/author that can elicit so many different reactions and behaviors for so many years must have something good going on. What do you think?

If you want to make a little money, let this be a lesson. Don’t work hard, perfect your craft, market your writing, face rejection, deal with your personal demons, and ultimately triumph. That’s not how the cool kids are doing it these days.

If you really want to make some money and get a little fame, just play some role in the life of SOMEONE ELSE who is doing all those difficult things, wait for that person to write his or her memoirs, and then sue them for misrepresentation. Remember to do plenty of sensational things while you know them, that way you’re guaranteed to get a part in the book - but ultimately, make sure it’s all deniable, that way you can collect the fat cash when you take the author to court.

Sound like a plan?