Back by popular demand, it’s “Authors With MySpace Angles”. Tonight’s episode stars Laurell K. Hamilton, and I won’t even begin to pretend like I read her books. Vampire erotica is not my thing. I did think it a bit curious, though, that both of these pictures claim to be Laurell K. Hamilton, but the liberal use of MySpace Angles and bright lights ensures that the first picture looks nothing like the second.

Here’s the first shot, as you see on might have seen (who am I kidding) on her press releases and book covers.

And then, the second picture - LKH at a public event of some sort. If there are children present, please shield their eyes. This is a most offensive case of MySpace Angles. In fact, this may be the most frightening picture I’ve seen in YEARS. Maybe EVER.

LKH is the second from the left. I’d shrink the picture, but where’s the horror in that?

Yes, I’m mean. But at least I’m honest. And I’d like to state for the record that those pictures prevented me from indulging in a bit of late night cookie craziness. At least they’re good for something.

Any suggestions for author “Authors with MySpace Angles”? Send them to authorazzi (at) gmail {dot} com.

I’ve been away for a while, so posts have been pretty much nonexistent. I did go to a booksale last night, though, and it as positively frightening. Just a few years ago, I remember booksales as these wonderful, quiet events where you could go and pick out all kinds of great books at your own pace.

Apparently, things have changed. I arrived to the early preview night about ten minutes early. This place was camped like a boy band concert. Except everyone there was really funny looking. There were at LEAST 40-50 fatasses sitting on blankets by the door with rolling crates and ScoutPals. eBay resellers, every last one of them.

Now don’t get me wrong - I have no problem with seeing people make a little profit. The ScoutPal people, however, have taken it to an entirely new level. So you know, a ScoutPal is a little barcode scanning device that you hook to your phone to get the current low/average prices for used books at major online retailers. The people carrying them, without exception, are assholes - yet somehow, I almost managed to get myself kicked out of this little church booksale because of them.

The campers pushed and shoved to get in once the doors opened, and they immediately RAN for the tables with textbooks and technical manuals. As I flipped through a stack, looking for CSS Manuals, arms reached in front of and around me, grabbing books left and right. I saw a promising box of books under one of the tables and bent down to look through it. Without a moment’s hesitation, and without any form of polite warning, a woman cried out, “We’ve got a book stealer over here!”

Everyone turned to look, and there I was, looking through a box under the table like a criminal. One of the volunteers came over and gave me a stern warning before apologizing to the shrieker. Apparently, books can be “saved” by sticking them under the table or by putting a blanket over the top. That’s news to me. I always thought you had to take them up to the coordinators - but I guess that would kill too much precious book-hogging time.

I just don’t see why they allow those things in, though. If I were running a book fair, I’d ban ScoutPals until the last few hours. Let people spend the first few days guessing the old-fashioned way. Since a lot of books LOOK more valuable than they are, they would sell a ton of “worthless” books on the first few days, and give a chance to the people who really know and love books.

Unfortunately, since CSS books go for a decent price on eBay, there were none to speak of by the time I made it in the door. One land-cow did offer to sell me some of hers for $20 each, though. Thanks, but no thanks.